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The
free eulogy below is a good example of a eulogy to start the service.
The eulogy gives a good overview of Ralph's life. He sounded like quite
a man. The first paragraph leads with an appropriate quote that sets the
tone for the eulogy. This is the sort of eulogy that would be read by
a close friend or celebrant.
In the words of Ralph’s favorite hero, John Wayne: “A man’s
got to have a code, a creed to live by, no matter his job.” Ralph
was a man who had a clear sense of right and wrong, and was consistent
in what he believed. In his life and his work, Ralph lived the core values
that are the Marine character – honor, courage and commitment. Perhaps
it was also his proud Scottish heritage shining through, an ancient lineage
of great warriors singing in his blood.
As all good warriors are, Ralph
was strong and gentle. He gave his all to care for his family. Linda says,
“He spoiled me rotten.” And his concern extended to those
outside of his family as well, willing to help others in any way he could,
almost to a fault. “He would talk to everybody and everybody would
talk to him, even if he didn’t want them to”, Linda says.
He was the kind of guy who, standing in a supermarket line, the person
next to him would tell him their whole life story. His mother-in-law Mary,
whom he affectionately called Maude, says he was the best son-in-law,
and they had a wonderful relationship. She also remembers how mischievous
he was – he used to purposefully annoy her by using her expensive
Depression glass coasters as an ashtray.
For Ralph, punctuality was
#1. His co-worker and friend, Dennis, remembers how Ralph endeared himself
to his co-workers because he would arrive at work an hour to an hour and
a half early every morning. He’d change into his uniform, make a
pot of coffee, and relieve the worker who was on duty. If Ralph were ever
late for anything, he’d be in a bad mood all day. At home and at
work at the U.S. Mint, one could always count on Ralph to have a pot of
good strong coffee prepared. Dennis remembers the time fellow co-worker
Joe Deleo served Ralph a cup – Ralph took a sip and tasted cinnamon
in it. He was so upset- just could not believe anyone would put cinnamon
in coffee. The guys never let him live that down.
Now hot sauce in his coffee
was another matter entirely - Ralph loved spicy food. Yes, he would put
hot sauce in his coffee, and salt in his soy sauce. Suzie and her husband
Michael remember the time they made fresh hot pepper powder for Ralph
– they baked and ground the pepper, it was so strong they had to
come back an hour later wearing masks to finish the job. In the end, Ralph
tasted the powder and said: “It’s a little warm.” Dennis
remembers with delight that he broke the record and finally found a hot
sauce that was too hot for Ralph. He had given it to Ralph who tried it,
brought it back the next day, and humbly grumbled, “I can’t
eat this.”
Born January 28, 1950 to Ralph
and Jeanne Lorraine King, Ralph grew up on a farm in Flint, Michigan -
a very small town where he also attended a 2-room schoolhouse. He had
two sisters, Marg and Bonnie, and a brother, Jerry. Ralph was tempered
by the hard life he had. It is said that when he went to sleep at night
he had a glass of water on his nightstand, and when he woke up, the glass
was full of ice. That says a lot about the hardiness, strength and endurance
he had to develop. In his youth, he learned how to work hard and demonstrated
self-discipline by raising horses all on his own, working jobs and bartering
to get them. His love of coffee began at age 9 -- after he’d do
his morning chores in the barn, he’d come into the house and his
mom would give him a cup. On a farm, there are so many tasks that just
have to get done, no questions asked. Being a farmer, Ralph loved John
Deere tractors, the best tractors in the world of course.
Ralph played football in Goodrich
High School; and after graduating in 1968, he worked at GM for a little
while, a job he hated. He then joined the Marines -- against his Dad’s
wishes. He served one tour of duty, and when he returned, the job market
was poor. It was August 1974. He went to the Marines recruitment office
in Detroit to re-enlist, and it just so happens Linda was there, enlisting
herself. Afterwards both walked to the bus station, and he started talking
to Linda. She was wary of him, being that they were in Detroit. Then she
found out they were taking the same bus to Flint, and they chatted the
whole way home. Their courtship continued and in February of 1975, Ralph
proposed while on leave. They were married that September. Their first
married year together, they lived in Camp Pendleton in California, and
then he was stationed for a while in Alaska. Ralph fell in love with Alaska,
where he enjoyed salmon fishing with his buddies. It became his dream
to live there permanently one day and work in the Juno police force.
In 1976 Ralph and Linda moved
back to Michigan, where he still had difficulty finding a job. Linda became
pregnant with Suzie, and Ralph took a job as deputy sheriff for the jail
in Oakland County. At that point he didn’t necessarily want to be
a corrections officer, he just wanted to support his family. Linda says
that because of the kind of man he was, the deputy job suited him perfectly.
Suzie was born in 1977, and
John in 1978. That same year, the family moved to Commerce and Ralph built
a house there. Suzie and John’s earliest memories are of this house
and its construction. Suzie remembers playing in the yard. John remembers
the time they dug a hole in the backyard, and Ralph drove his tractor
into it, not knowing the hole was there; and how they had to pull the
tractor out. Linda says Ralph had the patience of a saint with the kids--
both their own, and the neighborhood kids. In the Fall, the maple trees
on their property would shed tons of leaves. The kids would come to rake,
but end up jumping and playing in the piles. Ralph would say nothing,
and the next day, clean up the leaves properly. During this time, Ralph
also went to college on the GI bill, and worked full time while attending
school full time. John says his Dad would lock himself in the bedroom
to study. Linda remembers how Ralph struggled with English and she helped
him. As was consistent with his dedicated personality, Ralph persevered
and received his two-year degree from Oakland Community College, with
honors.
Ralph eventually grew tired
of living in the suburbs and so in 1985, they moved to Goodrich, where
he had purchased 5 acres of land. Linda says that Ralph was in his glory
there. He had a huge vegetable garden, and as usual his goal to remodel
one room turned into remodeling the entire house. Ralph loved to build,
and was very handy. Then his shoulder was badly hurt on the job during
a fight with prisoners; and he had to quite his job, so as not to risk
hurting his shoulder again.
In 1989 they moved to Las Vegas
with no job, no house to go to. They stayed in a hotel and within 3 days
got an apartment; and Ralph got a security job at the Showboat Casino.
John says his Dad loved that job, because he got to eat prime rib with
horseradish every single night. One day the kid’s school bus was
shot at and the family moved again, in 1990. They went to Milpitas, California
where Ralph got a job at Lockheed Martin. After 6 months he was laid off
and he took a security job, which he hated. Then he was hired as a Federal
police officer at the U.S. Mint in San Francisco, in 1991. Suzie remembers
this time fondly, because as a teen she used to go down to the city with
her girlfriend, and was allowed to roam the city freely, just as long
as she checked in with her Dad periodically. He would also show them around
the Mint. “It was such freedom and great fun”, she says.
Ralph completed training at
the Federal Law Enforcement Training center on July 2, 1993. This was
quite an achievement -- at that point he was 43 years old, the training
was rigorous and he was competing with 20-something year olds. In 1994,
the family moved to Texas, where Ralph got at job at the Bureau of Engraving
and Printing. During this time, Linda remembers she worked first shift
and Ralph worked second shift. When she came home for lunch, he’d
have dinner made, and he’d clean up after. She says she could clean
the whole house in the amount of time that it took him to clean the kitchen,
but that kitchen would be immaculate. John says his Dad was very detail
oriented. “It wasn’t about the speed, it was about the quality
of the job.”
Ralph was transferred to the
U.S. Mint at West Point in NY, on November 3, 2002, and moved to here
in New Jersey. In recent years, Ralph became deeply interested in his
genealogy. He was fiercely proud of his Scottish heritage, says Ellen.
He was also a proud member of the Sons of the American Revolution, and
The Mayflower Society, being one of 26 male descendents from the Mayflower.
Ralph and Linda traveled often, and their road trips usually included
a stop at the National Archives, or stopping in to visit a distant relative
he had discovered through his research.
In his leisure time Ralph could
be found working on a building project, playing with his grandchildren,
or curled up on his favorite green leather chair under his favorite afghan,
watching John Wayne movies. He loved John Wayne, and had a whole collection
of his movies on VHS – it was a running joke that he was probably
the only person in town who still had VHS tapes and watched them.
On August 13th of this year,
Ralph was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He did not ask for a prognosis,
preferring to let the remainder of his life come to its own natural end
in its own time. Ralph faced his death with the same calm acceptance and
courage with which he embraced life. His co-workers were a wonderful support
during this time. When Ralph’s sick leave ran out, they donated
their sick leave, so that he would continue to have income. Linda says
that he never complained of pain, and she almost had to force him to take
his pain medicine.
At 5 a.m. on November 4, 2007,
Ralph passed away peacefully at his home, lovingly surrounded by his family.
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To find current
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