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IDEA - Gather all the
things that made your loved one unique. At the entrance to the service,
have the items displayed on a large table. Place items reflecting their
hobbies or interests, perhaps a bowl with their favorite candy or treat,
and friends and family can help themselves. You may want to take 3x5 cards
and label the items and explain the significance.
Why
Should I Have a Service at All?
Memorial services and life celebrations are really about love. You are
taking the time and expressing and sharing the love that you felt for
that person. It's important to celebrate but not at the expense of acknowledging
that something important has been lost. The best services mix memories,
comfort and encouragment. You need to take this time to share your loss,
to laugh and talk and share your thoughts and feelings with each other.
How Can I have Family and Friends Share Their Memories?
NOTECARDS:
You only have one chance to collect everyone’s memories. Consider
lined 3” x 5” cards that say, “My Special Memory of
You ” These cards and pens are handed to friends and family as they
walk into the service. The celebrant or funeral director can be responsible
for handing them out and collecting them at the end of the service. These
cards can be put in a pouch and taken out and shared at family gatherings
for years to come. They become a reflection of ancestors' lives for generations
to come.
They are also available for purchase at http://www.nextgenmemorials.com/memorial.html
Guest books are not very practical as they require people to wait in line
at the service. Unless feelings and memories are shared, what is the long
term use of a guest book? If feelings and memories are shared, the wait
could become very long and delay the service.
You
may want to consider a memory book/guest
book/photo album combination that is ideal for capturing the essence of
the person- their passions, hobbies, interests, accomplishments and family
history. You'll want to make completing the book a family activity...
encourage children, grandchildren and all family members to partcipate.
It will be therapeutic and rewarding; collecting photos, memory cards,
notes and letters. Share friends and family's personal memories by inserting
the "My Special Memory of You" cards into the book. Additionally,
the book can be used as a guest book at the life celebration. This book
will be treasured for generations to come. You can find
the books here.

LETTERS:
Many grief counselors recommend letter writing as a way to begin to work
through the grief process. It's becoming more popular for the host of
the memorial service/life celebration to suggest attendees bring a letter
to the departed. By writing their thoughts they will often feel like they
have been able to document how they are feeling while contributing to
the service. The letters are commonly placed in the casket (some caskets
now have drawers especially for this purpose) and if the person is cremated
the letters are included placed inside the urn.
FLOWERS:
Many people now say, "In Lieu of Flowers send a donation to...".
Florists are missing an opportunity to provide you with a personalized
unique floral tribute to your loved one. Below you will find four tasteful
funeral floral arrangements that are ideal for a life celebration. It's
not easy to find such personalized floral tributes with photos and personal
momentos so you may have to print off this page and bring it into a progressive
florist. The yellow roses and daisys could be given to family members
or attendees in remembrance of the deceased. Because each person is unique,
floral designs should not be limited by FTD or the funeral director. A
special photograph or an artist's favorite painting can be added. Check
out the examples where personal belongings like a baseball glove or golf
clubs are incorporated into the arrangment.
 
We
know it's traditonal to send flowers for a funeral as an expression of
sympathy, consider asking attendees to the service to bring a flower as
a tribute to your lost loved one. The flowers can be placed into a wreath
and either placed on the casket or if the person is cremated and the remains
are scattered, you could put the wreath out to sea along with the ashes.
The flowered wreath will gently float away.
  
You
can purchase a straw or styrofoam wreath form at any craft store such
as Michaels. See samples below.
 
What Can I Put on a Memory Table?
Create a table and bring in things that your loved one liked to do. For
example, if they liked to paint, bring in their artwork, their paints
and brushes and smock. You could even bring in their easels and put the
artwork on their easels. If they were gardeners you could bring in their
gardening tools and pots of flowers. If they liked football you could
bring any logo memorabilia of the team that they supported that you or
they may have. If they liked photography, set their favorite cameras on
the table with some of their photographs. You may want to write on a notecard,
“Sarah always found time to craft the perfect photo and then share
them with us.” “Look at Sarah's hole in one on hole 7.”
If they liked golf bring in the clubs, tees, scorecards and golf balls.

Dave Daly's hobby was carving wood, on his memorial table his
tools and works of art were on display. As you can see by his memorial
table he was also in the service and enjoyed woodcarving.
A memory table of a golf lover
Consider putting pocket
charms on the table that reflect your loved one. Guests are encouraged
to take one, they will put them on their pocket or purse and when they
run across it they will remember the departed.
Find pocket charms here.
You may also want
to consider personalized seeded cards that contain wildflowers. The cards
can be placed on the memory table and friends and family can take them
and keep the card as a keepsake and plant the seeds.
 
Find Platable Seed Cards here.
Here is what a customer said about the cards,
"I just wanted to let you know-we had my mom's memorial service/celebration
of life Sept 2 at HoChunk Casino/Convention Center in Wisconsin Dells,
Wisconsin (one of mom's favorite places :-) I placed a dollar casino token
and one of the wildflower seed inscribed heart cards that I ordered from
you at each place setting at the tables. People commented and really thought
they were great. Thanks for offering such a wonderful website-you were
a godsend at a really difficult time." Kimberly T.
Name Tags
One of our customers named
Linda Lee provided everyone with name tags when they walked in. Her mother
was 85 years old and most of her friends were about the same age and many
were suffering from memory loss. She didn't want her mother's friends
to be embarrassed for not remembering names of people they hadn't seen
in years. Her mother's favorite color was pink so she got plain white
labels from the office supply store and put a pink border on them using
the computer. The pink bordered tags were then given to a couple close
friends who sat at the front on the reception area at a table writing
out name tags. The tags not only said the person's name but the relationship
to her mother. For example, Esther Hodges (High School Friend, Class of
1938). It's rare that everyone knows each other at a service. If everyone
has a name tag that says not only the person's name but the relation to
the deceased it makes the service much more personal as well as helps
the guests to make conversation.
Create a Collage
Here is a creative idea, create a collage that captures your
love one. Look what Laura did, using snapshots of knickknacks from her
grandfather's garage. Using vintage hardware leftovers and the setting
sun, she put together a very cool and unique tribute to her grandfather.

This could be incorporated in a folder to be handed out at the service
and perhaps on thank-you notes that you could have printed to thank all
those who lend support, send flowers and donations to charity. Go to www.kodakgallery.com
to create a collage.
Examples of Creative and Personal Life Celebrations
At Dave McBurnett’s
funeral his friends and family were transported by a zoo train the several
block distance to four separate and unique outdoor settings at his beloved
zoo. At each setting they heard comments from a podium surrounded by cloth
covered chairs. Each setting uniquely demonstrated areas of his life.
There was the marriage setting, with pictures of his 50 year marriage
in which his wife talked of their life together. Another that demonstrated
his avocation with pictures of his work with PETA and his pictorial safaris.
One completely constructed by his grandchildren who amidst both laughter
and tears acted out a play about their grandfather. At the conclusion
of the video tribute in the last setting, while the video screen held
a full head shot of the deceased his telephone voice mail familiar message
both startled and moved us. “Hi this is Dave, I’m not here
right now, I am on safari, but I hope I meet you on the trail.”
Alicia Johnson, a self proclaimed wine connoisseur prearranged her service
to include four separate wine tasting ceremony stations established in
her garden at her suburban home. Her family and friends walked to each
of the four stations, tasted wine and experienced the important areas
of her life. At the first one, they listened to some of her favorite music
while enjoying one particular wine she had invested in and talked amongst
them selves about Alicia, her wine and her music. At the second ceremony
station the funeral director provided each attendee with a message card
to write words of comfort to the family if they chose while enjoying a
different wine and hearing her husband talk of their life together. At
the third ceremony station beneath an outdoor tent they tearfully watched
Alicia in a video in which she talked to them from her bed just weeks
before her death. She had heartfelt and loving messages to more than ten
members of her family and friends.
Read about an animal
lover whos funeral or life celebration was held at a zoo. Click
here.
What Else Can I do at the Celebration?
You may want to read
the article "Remembering Rachel" about the unique things Rachel's
family and friends did to remember the wonderful life she had shared click
here
Consider a balloon release. Family and friends could write a note on the
balloon. You can find balloons at many grocery stores or in the Yellow
Pages.
In order to keep a
balloon release environmentally safe:
- Don't tie anything
to balloons which are being released, instead write messages directly
on the balloons with a felt tip pen.
- Only use biodegradable balloons- FYI latex is naturally occuring material
made from tree sap.
- Always use fully inflated balloons, release shortly after filling.
Also, dove releases and butterfly releases are becoming more popular.
To learn about butterfly releases, go to http://www.renaissancebutterflies.com
or http://www.abutterflyrelease.com/
For dove release
information check out these sites:
LA and Orange (Southern California) www.whitedoverelease.com.
Portland, Oregon and SW Washington
www.ceremonydove.com
Connecticut www.BirdsInWhite.com
Grand Junction, Colorado area www.bettysdoves.com

You may also have
families and friends light a candle. You could have a procession and put
the candles around the casket or urn. Candles can then be given to families
and friends as keepsakes at the end of the ceremony. You may also want
to consider a candle and bud vase that can be inscribed with your loved
ones name. Every year, on significant dates you can place fresh flowers
in the vase and light the candle.
Click here to see candles and bud vases
Julie from Gautier, MS suggested the following; On your loved ones birthday
write them a letter, tie it to a hellium balloon and let it go outside
so it reaches them in heaven.
Have you found these
ideas helpful? Check out this book with everything you need to create
a personalized memorial service. It is only $9.95 and will ship the same
day it is ordered for quick delivery. It is also available for immediate
download. Click Planning
a Celebration of Life
© Mary Hickey All Rights Reserved
More Memorial Ideas
Memorial Poems | Memorial Songs | Memorial Books | Keeping their memory alive | Writing an Obituary | Unique Funeral Ideas | Thoughts on Grief | What to say at a funeral | Funeral thank you notes | Funeral Bible Readings
A sample eulogy
We have many interesting memorial products to personalize a life celebration
We welcome
your ideas and suggestions, please email them to us at info@nextgenmemorials.com.
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