Throwing rose petals into the water

How to Scatter Cremated Remains (Ashes)

You may envision going out to a beautiful spot and scattering your loved ones remains. While this can be a beautiful, ceremonial and a very healing way of returning a loved one to nature, it can also be a disaster. The following guidelines, will make the experience a positive one and make the final wish of your loved one, “I just want my ashes to be scattered” to come true.

To begin, often the word “ashes” is used to describe cremated remains. The media portrays it as light ash. The reality is the remains are bone fragments that have been mechanically reduced. They normally don’t gently flow into the air. It is more like heavy sand That being said there is some dust or ash that can blow in the wind, so when scattering cremated remains make sure to check the wind so they don’t blow back in people’s faces or onto a boat.

You will also want to consider the legal requirements to scatter remains. In no state is it legal to scatter remains on private property without permission from the property owner. Many parks also have rules and permit requirements so you will want to check into the requirements.

If you do plan on scattering the remains, many people are choosing to keep some of the remains in a keepsake container or mini urn. Some people feel they still want a part of the person and sharing the cremated remains is a way to still have a part of the person with you. Keep in mind, you will want to make sure the partial remains are in a sealed plastic bag inside the keepsake or mini urn. A funeral director can handle this for you. Many products are also available such as diamonds that are made out of the remains, jewelry that is designed to hold the remains or hand blown glass paper weights.

Techniques for Scattering

Casting

Casting is a way of scattering where the remains are tossed into the wind. As I mentioned previously, you will want to check the direction of the wind and cast the remains downwind. Most of the remains will fall to the ground and some of the lighter particles will blow in the wind forming a whitish-grey cloud.

One person in the group may cast the remains or scatter some and hand the container to the next person so everyone has a chance to ceremonially cast the remains. Another option is people are given paper cups or casting cups and they cast simultaneously in a sort of toasting gesture.

Trenching

Trenching is digging a hole or trench in the ground or sand and the remains are placed into the trench. The remains can be placed directly into the trench or placed in a biodegradable bag or urn. At the end of the ceremony survivors often rake over the trench. A deceased name can bedrawn in the dirt or sand- perhaps inside of a heart. The remains could also be placed inside this name and heart. You may consider taking a photo of this for a memory book. If done at the beach, it can be timed that the tide comes in and ceremoniously washes it out to sea. Family and friends may want to join hands and form a circle. If not too windy, candles may also form a circle around the site. The candles are then given to each person as a keepsake.

Raking

Raking involves pouring the cremated remains from an urn evenly on loose soil and then raking them into the ground at the conclusion of the ceremony. It is important to keep the urn close to the ground when pouring out the remains due to wind. Survivors may wish to take turns raking the remains back into the earth. If you choose to do this at a scattering garden at a cemetery this is how they will perform the scattering.

Green Burial

This is done either at a “Green Cemetery” or at a traditional cemetery. Often cemeteries will allow you to place a biodegradable bag orbiodegradable urn on top of a gravesite or a family member as long as it is buried. Obviously, you will want to check with the cemetery and see what their requirements are.

Water Scattering

Water scattering involves placing the remains into a body of water. A biodegradable bag or urn is recommended. This is most often when cremated remains can blow back into a person’s face or get washed up onto the side of the boat. Both experiences can be traumatic and not the everlasting peaceful memory you envisioned. If you search on the internet or in the phone book you can find people that have boats and are experienced. There are urns on the market designed to gently float away and then quickly biodegrade into the water. Many people throw rose petals or flowers into the water after the urn. If the remains are in a biodegradable bag they may sink so you also may wish to throw a wreath of flowers into the water and watch the wreath drift away.

Air Scattering

Air scattering is best performed by professional pilots and air services. The airplanes are specially designed to handle the cremated remains. Some professionals will arrange for family and friends to be on the ground watching as the plane flies over and a plume of remains can be seen from the ground. If survivors are not present, the service will provide the specific time and date of the aerial scattering. Often it can be arranged that close family and friends fly along.

While scattering cremated remains can be emotionally very difficult, hopefully by knowing your options and being informed it will make a difficult time a little easier.

Poems and Verses for the Scattering Ceremony

As you fulfill your loved one’s wishes to be cremated and scattered at sea, you may want to have close friends and family who are attending the scattering each read a poem or verse.

Perhaps you may want to open the ceremony with something like, “The ceremony at sea for our beloved Mother is the perfect place for setting her free, we are comforted to know that she is finally home among loved ones.”

You would then have each family member read the poem that you have given to them.

Some ideas are:

Alone I will not be
my comfort will come from the sea.
The stillness of clam waves will gently drift by
I will be as one with the sea.
When the sun sets on the ocean blue,
remember me as I will always remember you.
As the sun rises...go live life as full as can be
Apart...you and me...but a peace for I am free
_______________________

Be Comforted
My life is ended here at peace with the sea.
The Lord has called me home and I am free
to go peacefully.
Don't mourn my passing as I am now in the presence of the Glory of God,
His bright love is abundant and his promises are real.
I will wait here for you dear ones in Jesus’ arms and watch over you with him until you also come home.
Be comforted loved ones.
"I shall go the way of the open sea, To the Lands before you came, And the cool ocean breezes shall blow from me, The memory of your name"
____________________________

A Parable of Immortality

I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud
Just where the sea and the sky come to mingle with each other.
Then someone says, "There she goes!"
Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side
And just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says, "There she goes"
There are other eyes watching her coming
And their voices ready to take up the glad shouts,
"Here she comes!"
By Henry Van Dyke

In closing, the scattering at sea ceremony is about saying goodbye and creating an everlasting memory of setting your loved one free.

If you are looking for a company to handle aerial ash scattering in Colorado, and parts of Kansas, Nebraska, and Wyoming contact www.airlegacy.com

If you are looking for burial at sea service:
Long Beach and Huntington Beach, California visit Burials at Sea by Captain Johnnie Lee also try Ashes on the Sea serving Oceanside, Long Beach, Huntington Beach, Newport Beach, Marina del Rey, Ventura, Santa Barbara, and other West Coast areas, including Fort Bragg. For Florida visit Grace Air

© Mary Hickey All Rights Reserved

If you have had an experience with scattering cremated remains and you would like to share it with our visitors please email us at info@nextgenmemorials.com

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